| Politics |
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| Written by Dr. John E. Russell Sr |
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The Sunday school teacher asked little Johnny, "Johnny, where do all liars go?" Johnny answered, "My daddy says `They go to Washington, DC.'" We have the best politicians Money can buy. Mrs. Jones, a lifelong, hardcore Democrat was dying and called her son in for a last request: "Son, bury me in Chicago. I want to keep on voting!" (Paul Harvey) Congress writes the checks and taxpayers make up the balances. A female senior citizen asked her Mississippi senator, "Suh, what do you think of alcohol?" "Well, ma'am," he began, "if what you mean by `alcohol' is that devil's brew that robs people of their brains, that takes food from the mouth of babies, and shoes off the feet of children, that kills millions on the highways, then, Ah'm against it!" But: If what you mean by `alcohol' is that preservah of medicines, that tranquilizer, that calmah of jaded nerves, that social lubricant, then Ah'm all fah it!" Abraham Lincoln had long legs. Once, someone asked him, "How long do you think a person's legs should be?" Lincoln answered dryly, "Long enough to reach the ground!" There were two political parties in biblical days: the publicans and the sinners. There are still two parties today: the REpublicans and the sinners. A deacon said to his pastor, who was a diehard Democrat, "Reverend, I believe that you'd vote for the devil if he ran on the Democratic ticket." After some thought, the preacher carefully replied, "Well, maybe not in the primary." A farmer had just returned from the mailbox and said to his wife, "Ma, we just received another check from the government. And I can't remember what we didn't plant and what field we didn't plant it in." 1 The Bush Watch has no hands, only Bush's face on the face: You have to read his lips. 2. The Perot Watch Now it's running Now it's not Now it's running .... 3. The Clinton Watch sells for only $4.95 plus tax plus tax plus tax .... Is like giving yourself a blood transfusion from one arm to the other and spilling half of it! on a highway going from Louisanna to Texas: "Leaving Taxes, Entering Texas." Edgar Bergen had three dummies: Charlie, Mortimer and Candace. Charlie was the smart one. <><From my ebook, They All Laughed At Me When I Said That I Was Going to Write A Joke Book. Download this book free at http://BusterSoft.com/JRCM. |
| Last Updated on Sunday, 07 August 2011 18:42 |