| Tall Tales |
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| Written by Dr. John E. Russell Sr |
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1 A Scotsman dropped a nickel down a gopher hole. 2 A New Mexico rancher decided to fence in his ranch. He dug all the post holes and a BIG WIND from Texas blew them all into a big pile in Arizona. Sam had a bad cough and went to the doctor. The doctor said, "Go to Arizona and find the driest part. Settle down there and you will get well." Sam crossed the Arizona border and pulled into a small town filling station. "What's the humidity here?" Sam asked the owner. "Fifteen percent!" "Gotta move on!" After a few more stops Sam arrived at an old-timer's place and asked about the humidity. "Wal, don't rightly know," he answered, "But we got fish six months old that ain't never larned to swim yet!" 1 Come in and see A man-eating chicken. 2 Eat Here and Get Gas Mutt: "Jeff, come play a game of darts." Jeff: "But, I never played the game." Mutt: "Oh, come on, be a sport!" Jeff: "Well, ok." Jeff throws first and puts all the darts in the MIDDLE of the bull's eye. Mutt: "I thought you never played the game!" Jeff: "I didn't. But I practiced hitting flies on the kitchen wall last summer." Mutt: "Didn't that mess-up the walls?" Jeff: "Nah, I hit 'em in the foot!" There was a big oil fire in Texas about the size of a small lake. The company called Red Adair, who bid a million dollars to put it out. Speedy Gonzales bid fifty thousand and got the bid. About thirty minutes later, a flatbed truck crested the hill near the lake of burning oil and drove into the middle of it. Two dozen men jumped off the truck and beat out the oil fire with burlap bags. A sweaty, sooty Speedy Gonzales approached the owner of the oil company. "Well done, Speedy," congratulated the CEO, "What are you going to do with the fifty thousand?" "Well, Sen~or," Speedy replied thoughtfully, "The first thing we're agonna do is get those brakes feexed!" <><From my ebook, They All Laughed At Me When I Said That I Was Going to Write A Joke Book. Download this book free at http://BusterSoft.com/JRCM. |