It Wuz A Accident!
Accident Reports
submitted to various Insurance companies:
I drove into the wrong house
and collided with a tree I don't have.
without giving warning of its intentions.
but found it was up
when I put my hand through it.
coming the other way.
I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.
glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.
I drove into a telephone pole.
when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had the accident.
of the car in front,
I struck the pedestrian.
as it backed into the other vehicle.
struck my vehicle and vanished.
but on removing my hat,
I found that I had a fractured skull.
would never make it
to the other side of the road
when I struck him.
had no idea which direction to run,
so I ran over him.
was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.
I was later found in a ditch
by some stray cows.
I was attempting to swerve out of its way,
when it struck my front end.
and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
The driver and passengers then left immediately
for vacation with injuries.
(Aide Magazine, February 1989—All the above)
WRAP IT UP!
I sat down next to a guy in the doctor's office.He was covered with bandages.
"Have an accident?" I asked.
"No thanks, I just had one," he replied.
(Two thousand comedians out of work
and I have to sit by this guy.)
MAGIC
The magician wrote on his accident report,"I was driving down the street
And turned into a tree."
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From my ebook, They All Laughed At Me When I Said That I Was Going to Write A Joke Book. Download this book free at http://BusterSoft.com/JRCM.
© John E. Russell 1993-2004
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