TALL TALES
1
A Scotsman dropped a nickel down a gopher hole.
2
A New Mexico rancher decided to fence in his ranch.
He dug all the post holes and a BIG WIND from Texas
blew them all into a big pile in Arizona.
Sam had a bad cough
and went to the doctor.
The doctor said,
"Go to Arizona and find the driest part.
Settle down there and you will get well."
Sam crossed the Arizona border
and pulled into a small town filling station.
"What's the humidity here?"
Sam asked the owner.
"Fifteen percent!"
"Gotta move on!"
After a few more stops
Sam arrived at an old-timer's place
and asked about the humidity.
"Wal, don't rightly know," he answered,
"But we got fish six months old
that ain't never larned to swim yet!"
1
Come in and see
A man-eating chicken.
2
Eat Here
and Get Gas
Mutt: "Jeff, come play a game of darts."
Jeff: "But, I never played the game."
Mutt: "Oh, come on, be a sport!"
Jeff: "Well, ok."
Jeff throws first and puts all the darts in
the MIDDLE of the bull's eye.
Mutt: "I thought you never played the game!"
Jeff: "I didn't. But I practiced hitting
flies on the kitchen wall last summer."
Mutt: "Didn't that mess-up the walls?"
Jeff: "Nah, I hit 'em in the foot!"
There was a big oil fire in Texas
about the size of a small lake.
The company called Red Adair,
who bid a million dollars to put it out.
Speedy Gonzales bid fifty thousand
and got the bid.
About thirty minutes later,
a flatbed truck crested the hill
near the lake of burning oil
and drove into the middle of it.
Two dozen men jumped off the truck
and beat out the oil fire with
burlap bags.
A sweaty, sooty Speedy Gonzales
approached the owner of the oil company.
"Well done, Speedy," congratulated the CEO,
"What are you going to do with the fifty thousand?"
"Well, Sen~or," Speedy replied thoughtfully,
"The first thing we're agonna do
is get those brakes feexed!"
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From my ebook, They All Laughed At Me When I Said That I Was Going to Write A Joke Book. Download this book free at http://BusterSoft.com/JRCM.
©John E. Russell 1993-2004
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